Team America
Spotswood: "Gary is the kind of man that understands, when you put another man's cock in your mouth, you make a pact."
Thursday, June 30, 2005
Tuesday, June 28, 2005
Who says Pigs don't float?
Bubba
Chubba
Need I say more?
The Best Logic I have seen in a long time............
Memorable Quotes from Team America: World Police (2004)
Gary Johnston: We're dicks! We're reckless, arrogant, stupid dicks. And the Film Actors Guild are pussies. And Kim Jong Il is an asshole. Pussies don't like dicks, because pussies get fucked by dicks. But dicks also fuck assholes: assholes that just want to shit on everything. Pussies may think they can deal with assholes their way. But the only thing that can fuck an asshole is a dick, with some balls. The problem with dicks is: they fuck too much or fuck when it isn't appropriate - and it takes a pussy to show them that. But sometimes, pussies can be so full of shit that they become assholes themselves... because pussies are an inch and half away from ass holes. I don't know much about this crazy, crazy world, but I do know this: If you don't let us fuck this asshole, we're going to have our dicks and pussies all covered in shit!
Chubba
Need I say more?
The Best Logic I have seen in a long time............
Memorable Quotes from Team America: World Police (2004)
Gary Johnston: We're dicks! We're reckless, arrogant, stupid dicks. And the Film Actors Guild are pussies. And Kim Jong Il is an asshole. Pussies don't like dicks, because pussies get fucked by dicks. But dicks also fuck assholes: assholes that just want to shit on everything. Pussies may think they can deal with assholes their way. But the only thing that can fuck an asshole is a dick, with some balls. The problem with dicks is: they fuck too much or fuck when it isn't appropriate - and it takes a pussy to show them that. But sometimes, pussies can be so full of shit that they become assholes themselves... because pussies are an inch and half away from ass holes. I don't know much about this crazy, crazy world, but I do know this: If you don't let us fuck this asshole, we're going to have our dicks and pussies all covered in shit!
Thursday, June 23, 2005
The anger returns
So generally I save this for only Mondays but fuck it.
I declare this a I hate Jimmiez Thursday. Let me count the ways he makes me hate him.
1)Not only does he take my idea for the greatest bike name but then his no skills ass crashes it and breaks the frame. Fucking bullshit.
2)He writes me emails that are vague as fuck and then calls me stupid.
3)He tries to trick me into some sort of farm animal sex in his altitude bed. The man does not even have AC but he has an altitude bed. Fucking stupid ass.
4)My AC broke and I had to pay some motherfucker a crap pile of money to fix it. I hate Jimmiez and his "I don't have AC ass"
5)I hate the fact Jimmiez works in Jeff City. Because Jeff City sucks and anyone who rides on a veldrome there sucks even more.
So fuck Jimmiez
A question for my faithful readers.
If you finish 4th in a race when there are only 4 rider in the race. Do you get last place or a top 5 finish?
A statement for my faithful readers.
Every notice that those who bark the loudest tend to do the least.
And you heard it here first
The Klinger/Brown Sugar aka "Country Club" ticket will win the office of president in 2024
Finally...
Brad Huff still sucks. Your cheerleading ass has a good old missouri ass whoopin coming it's way.
I declare this a I hate Jimmiez Thursday. Let me count the ways he makes me hate him.
1)Not only does he take my idea for the greatest bike name but then his no skills ass crashes it and breaks the frame. Fucking bullshit.
2)He writes me emails that are vague as fuck and then calls me stupid.
3)He tries to trick me into some sort of farm animal sex in his altitude bed. The man does not even have AC but he has an altitude bed. Fucking stupid ass.
4)My AC broke and I had to pay some motherfucker a crap pile of money to fix it. I hate Jimmiez and his "I don't have AC ass"
5)I hate the fact Jimmiez works in Jeff City. Because Jeff City sucks and anyone who rides on a veldrome there sucks even more.
So fuck Jimmiez
A question for my faithful readers.
If you finish 4th in a race when there are only 4 rider in the race. Do you get last place or a top 5 finish?
A statement for my faithful readers.
Every notice that those who bark the loudest tend to do the least.
And you heard it here first
The Klinger/Brown Sugar aka "Country Club" ticket will win the office of president in 2024
Finally...
Brad Huff still sucks. Your cheerleading ass has a good old missouri ass whoopin coming it's way.
Wednesday, June 22, 2005
So I went on a little trip this last weekend
4 hours each way with only Nellie or Nelly or however the fuck you say it CD. Needless to say I was keeping it real for all my brothers out there locked up in the pin
(That would be the Women's lock up for Missouri.) I think Brad Huff tends to visit this place a lot. I know at the very least he writes and sends a lot of letter there.
I crossed a few bridges
Did a little racing
(That is one fast JEW!)
Then Jelly Rolly, the Command Decision Maker and myself had
(That is a Mexican water fall. I am totally building a water fall in my back yard!)
(Did I make the "Then we had Mexican Joke yet?)
Anyways I really don't have any anger today. Kind of sucks. I am sure that will change.
I am so turning PRO!
(That would be the Women's lock up for Missouri.) I think Brad Huff tends to visit this place a lot. I know at the very least he writes and sends a lot of letter there.
I crossed a few bridges
Did a little racing
(That is one fast JEW!)
Then Jelly Rolly, the Command Decision Maker and myself had
(That is a Mexican water fall. I am totally building a water fall in my back yard!)
(Did I make the "Then we had Mexican Joke yet?)
Anyways I really don't have any anger today. Kind of sucks. I am sure that will change.
I am so turning PRO!
Monday, June 13, 2005
Funniest thing said by a Junior
"That guy doesn't look like he was in the top 10 in the Time Trial"
Some people are really dumb.
Some people are really dumb.
Friday, June 10, 2005
I.H.F.F.F................
That is right it is "I hate Fucking Fish Friday". Also known as "It is Friday and Fish is still an over stuffed Soccer Mom in the body of a 55 year old overweight chimp" (Say that fast 3 times)
Notice how he uses the Banjo to hide his belly
So let me count the ways I hate Fucking Fish
1)He is fat.
2)He thinks he is not fat.
3)One time He made me wash all the Junior's bikes and then I rode like shit.
4)He got me a green sheet cake and my shit was green for 3 days.
5)He calls the Dude and invites him along.
6)His bike always breaks because he is a fat ass.
7)Last sunday he almost bridge to my break which forced me to suffer really bad.
8)He doesn't teach any of his juniors "skills".
9)He is fat.
10)He is always trying to get "alone" time with Bubba. Bubba seems to not want to turn his back to him anymore.
11)He sends me hate email everyday with pictures of him and small animals in strange settings.
12)He started an anti butthead blog. Fuck Head just wait til I start an Anti Ethan blog.
13)He doesn't race on Sunday anymore because he claims he is need at Church
14)He is fat.
15)He tells my teammates he gave me money for them when he actually blew his entire winnings at an all you can eat pub. How can anyone spend $300 at an all you can eat buffet? One plate is only 6.99. Fuck! add stupid to the list of reasons
16)He likes to hang out side my window and wisper sweet nothings into my ear.."Butthead...Butthead"
17)He won't buy a CX bike because he is to busy buying soccer balls. So all this next winter I will have to wait for him on his fucking MTB bike when riding gravel roads. I think this is a built in excuse for his slowness.
18)He made me dinner once with this expanding pasta shit and it gave me the biggest belly ache that I have ever had. Not only was I in great pain but I raced like shit the next day and my belly stuck out like his. FUCKING FATTASS
19)He calls Bubba names like "fatt ass" and "cut off". I mean really what kind of sick fuck goes around calling people or pets "fatt ass" and "cut off".
20)Did I mention he was fat
This concludes why I hate Ethan "Fish" Froese.
Look at this shit. He manges to beat the 2 other 60 year old riders who show up and he decides to put his hands up in the air LIKE A MOTHER FUCKING ROCK STAR or someting. Fucking LAIM!(I guess I fucked this part up...here is an email I got "Fucking LAME! Not Laim, you lame FUCK!
Brad Huff Typing for Melissa Cox")
I can see the gears turning in his head in this picture. .......hummmmm I totally turning pro.
You know now that I think about it "Fish" is not a good name. Ethan will now be known as "Fatt Ass"
So Fuck You Fatt Ass.
Notice how he uses the Banjo to hide his belly
So let me count the ways I hate Fucking Fish
1)He is fat.
2)He thinks he is not fat.
3)One time He made me wash all the Junior's bikes and then I rode like shit.
4)He got me a green sheet cake and my shit was green for 3 days.
5)He calls the Dude and invites him along.
6)His bike always breaks because he is a fat ass.
7)Last sunday he almost bridge to my break which forced me to suffer really bad.
8)He doesn't teach any of his juniors "skills".
9)He is fat.
10)He is always trying to get "alone" time with Bubba. Bubba seems to not want to turn his back to him anymore.
11)He sends me hate email everyday with pictures of him and small animals in strange settings.
12)He started an anti butthead blog. Fuck Head just wait til I start an Anti Ethan blog.
13)He doesn't race on Sunday anymore because he claims he is need at Church
14)He is fat.
15)He tells my teammates he gave me money for them when he actually blew his entire winnings at an all you can eat pub. How can anyone spend $300 at an all you can eat buffet? One plate is only 6.99. Fuck! add stupid to the list of reasons
16)He likes to hang out side my window and wisper sweet nothings into my ear.."Butthead...Butthead"
17)He won't buy a CX bike because he is to busy buying soccer balls. So all this next winter I will have to wait for him on his fucking MTB bike when riding gravel roads. I think this is a built in excuse for his slowness.
18)He made me dinner once with this expanding pasta shit and it gave me the biggest belly ache that I have ever had. Not only was I in great pain but I raced like shit the next day and my belly stuck out like his. FUCKING FATTASS
19)He calls Bubba names like "fatt ass" and "cut off". I mean really what kind of sick fuck goes around calling people or pets "fatt ass" and "cut off".
20)Did I mention he was fat
This concludes why I hate Ethan "Fish" Froese.
Look at this shit. He manges to beat the 2 other 60 year old riders who show up and he decides to put his hands up in the air LIKE A MOTHER FUCKING ROCK STAR or someting. Fucking LAIM!(I guess I fucked this part up...here is an email I got "Fucking LAME! Not Laim, you lame FUCK!
Brad Huff Typing for Melissa Cox")
I can see the gears turning in his head in this picture. .......hummmmm I totally turning pro.
You know now that I think about it "Fish" is not a good name. Ethan will now be known as "Fatt Ass"
So Fuck You Fatt Ass.
Monday, June 06, 2005
It is fucking monday
I fucking hate it. My legs hurt, my head hurts, mother fuckers keep calling my fucking desk phone and hanging up, and I got to see Jimmiez bare ass this weekend. GODDDDDDDDDDD!!!!!! EVERY TIME I CLOSE MY EYES I SEE THAT ASS. God my life sucks. On top of that some 125lb 10yr old out sprinted me to the line in the road race. I hate little kids.
Just in case your wondering I hate 70 mile break aways. Anyone who would do that is just fucking stupid. I can say I will never do that again. So next I roll off the front early in the race don't worry about me. I promise I will come back!
Just in case your wondering I hate 70 mile break aways. Anyone who would do that is just fucking stupid. I can say I will never do that again. So next I roll off the front early in the race don't worry about me. I promise I will come back!
Thursday, June 02, 2005
A special I hate everything edition
1)I hate the fact it is only Thursday......It feels like Friday but it is not
2)I hate when I get pulled 300 different way at work at once. WTF?!
3)I hate when all these MOTHERFUCKERS out there try and tell me where and when I should go ride, race, or anything else. HELLO WORLD IF YOU KEEP ASKING I AM STILL GOING TO DO WHATEVER I WANT TO DO
4)I hate the MOTHERFUCKERS WHO CALL MY DESK PHONE AT WORK! I AM TRYING TO WORK THAT MEANS I DON'T WANT TO TALK TO YOU
5)I HATE THE FACT I HAVE A FUCKING HEADACHE THE SIZE OF ETHAN'S BELLY
ALRIGHT I AM JUST FUCKING MAD AT THIS POINT I AM DONE TYPING AND MY CAPS LOCK IS STUCK ON. I FUCKING HATE THIS FUCKING COMPUTER
2)I hate when I get pulled 300 different way at work at once. WTF?!
3)I hate when all these MOTHERFUCKERS out there try and tell me where and when I should go ride, race, or anything else. HELLO WORLD IF YOU KEEP ASKING I AM STILL GOING TO DO WHATEVER I WANT TO DO
4)I hate the MOTHERFUCKERS WHO CALL MY DESK PHONE AT WORK! I AM TRYING TO WORK THAT MEANS I DON'T WANT TO TALK TO YOU
5)I HATE THE FACT I HAVE A FUCKING HEADACHE THE SIZE OF ETHAN'S BELLY
ALRIGHT I AM JUST FUCKING MAD AT THIS POINT I AM DONE TYPING AND MY CAPS LOCK IS STUCK ON. I FUCKING HATE THIS FUCKING COMPUTER
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