Hate from a Cutt Off Jelly Roll

When shithead initially asked me to spread the hate, I thought “ I’m JellyRoll, I don’t hate.” Then I read Jimmiez column and … FUCK YOU, JIMMIEZ! I love my lawn and my dog, and I love when my dog shits in my yard, and I love it even more when my dog shits in my neighbor’s yard. My neighbor is a fucking bitch anyway. She rings my goddamn doorbell every time a fucking dog shits in her yard. I live in the fucking hood. Do you realize how many stray dogs roam my neighborhood? All pit bulls too. What is it with hood rats and pit bulls? People with I.Q.s lower than 90 should not be able to adopt pets or reproduce. Do you realize that there is a strong correlation between education and the number of offspring that you will produce? I would assume that its because the more time you spend in school, the les s time you have to fuck… but Jimmiez has completely blown that theory out the door.

OK, that stupid fucking neighbor of mine had the nerve to stand on my front porch and threaten to “have the animal removed”. Guess what, bitch? I’ll have your house removed then I’ll shit in your yard myself. She hasn’t realized it yet, but she has solved my whole dog-shitt i ng problem anyway. I didn’t know that any of the property on the north side of my garage is mine until my stupid fucking neighbor started mowing her lawn and stopped about a foot and a half from my garage. Not only am I never going to cut that spot, but I’m going to pile all dog shit there from now on.

32oz cans of Miller HighLife iced up next to the cash register at every gas station in the hood. WTF? If you’re sitting on the stoop drinking all day, where the fuck did you get the money to buy that beer? They should start putting some kind of contraceptive in that shit.

CBC jerseys. As if a sausage casing lycra skinsuit is not ugly enough, let’s pick the ugliest fucking color known to man. Even CBC people know how ugly it is. They’ve tried to jazz it up over the years with checkers and other bullshit but they’ve stuck with tradition for the sake of tradition. It got to Jujunga so bad that he moved out of town and changed teams. They chose that color so redneck kids like 16-year-old Butthead in redneck cars don’t run over fag cyclists on the way to work at McDonalds-McStop. If I was a 16 year old redneck in a GTO, I would run over spandex wearing fags for fun. They should be wearing camouflage so nobody sees them.

That’s all for now.

Jelly