MY ONE DIMENSIONAL WORLD!
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
Monday, November 02, 2009
Bubba's days are numbered...
Sorry for the delay in the update. I realize everyone is on the edge of their seats....
I did The BEpic last weekend. I survived with 7th and some good prize money. I traded that prize money for a set of Ping Irons and a set of Ugg Boots (my wife thinks she is still in High School or College...........I am ok with that since I like college girls)
(sorry no pics)
Up next was CX racing in STL. As my loyal readers know I lost the last CX race I did in STL..........so I went into secret training. I increased my coffee consumption by a factor of 10, practiced holding my breath in 30min intervals, stopped watching Tool Academy, and began picking fights with anyone and everyone who was up for it. I had decided to return to STL with an anger level in the red.
So Saturday Night rolls up the anger level is close to red. I don't get a call up.....complete bullshit! I was dressed as a fatter version of Nate Rice. Anyways long story short. Here is how the race went down......GO!.slide around..ride through traffic. slide around..catch lead group...slide around...attack.....slide around...just me and Nate...lap some guys..slide around....Dave catches.....attack...slide around..just Nate and I...lap some guys...take beer hand up...throw empty at Dave and hit him the head...slide around...Nate breaks bike....slide around...wait...wait...wait....Nate is fucked....slide around.....hit cruise control..try to get another beer hand up....they are out (PUSS SHIT RUNNING OUT OF BEER!)...win. Sorry no pictures yet.
Sunday...The anger really has not gone down at this point. To make matters worse there is some dog barking like crazy during the C race so I am good and pissed...
Here is my race recap with pictures...and yes started DFL again
Race starts..........I ride around in traffic

Why is everyone running?
Catch the lead group

Attack
The group attempts super human maneuvers to catch back on

Hit cruise control for the last 30 minutes

(Photos stolen from Evil Mike)
Here is my Bubba Update.....He licks himself constantly and as a result he now wears an e-collar.
I did The BEpic last weekend. I survived with 7th and some good prize money. I traded that prize money for a set of Ping Irons and a set of Ugg Boots (my wife thinks she is still in High School or College...........I am ok with that since I like college girls)
(sorry no pics)
Up next was CX racing in STL. As my loyal readers know I lost the last CX race I did in STL..........so I went into secret training. I increased my coffee consumption by a factor of 10, practiced holding my breath in 30min intervals, stopped watching Tool Academy, and began picking fights with anyone and everyone who was up for it. I had decided to return to STL with an anger level in the red.
So Saturday Night rolls up the anger level is close to red. I don't get a call up.....complete bullshit! I was dressed as a fatter version of Nate Rice. Anyways long story short. Here is how the race went down......GO!.slide around..ride through traffic. slide around..catch lead group...slide around...attack.....slide around...just me and Nate...lap some guys..slide around....Dave catches.....attack...slide around..just Nate and I...lap some guys...take beer hand up...throw empty at Dave and hit him the head...slide around...Nate breaks bike....slide around...wait...wait...wait....Nate is fucked....slide around.....hit cruise control..try to get another beer hand up....they are out (PUSS SHIT RUNNING OUT OF BEER!)...win. Sorry no pictures yet.
Sunday...The anger really has not gone down at this point. To make matters worse there is some dog barking like crazy during the C race so I am good and pissed...
Here is my race recap with pictures...and yes started DFL again
Race starts..........I ride around in traffic
Why is everyone running?
Catch the lead group
Attack
The group attempts super human maneuvers to catch back on
Hit cruise control for the last 30 minutes
(Photos stolen from Evil Mike)
Here is my Bubba Update.....He licks himself constantly and as a result he now wears an e-collar.
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
Night of the Living Bubba and Dawn of the Bubba
Oh the joy of racing CX! Truly my favorite time of the year.

Rode around in the dark. Just look at that filled out long sleeve skin suit(PX90 24/7)
My fans were everywhere!
There were so many at one point I thought I should stop and sign a few autographs.......

Managed to win. Young Alex (2nd place...I like to say 1st loser) said he didn't know it was the last lap. What can I say my college degree is paying off! I was able to realize it was time to unleash the KANKLES!!! and as all my college buddies know when it is KANKLE TIME!!! shit only goes downhill.
Speaking of College......look who showed up

Sunday, I was first loser. Yep, my ego was pretty much crushed. I guess young Alex stayed up studying all night and was able to realize it was the last lap. I waited too long to unleash the KANKLES!!! and didn't get it done.
I have to say that it appears some the youngster in STL are going good. Plus one of them has YELLOW shoes...I don't see anyone in KC with YELLOW shoes. So I don't want to hear anymore of this KC is faster bullshit! I have proven that I can lose in both cities.
Next up Berrymen Epic.
Rode around in the dark. Just look at that filled out long sleeve skin suit(PX90 24/7)
My fans were everywhere!
There were so many at one point I thought I should stop and sign a few autographs.......
Managed to win. Young Alex (2nd place...I like to say 1st loser) said he didn't know it was the last lap. What can I say my college degree is paying off! I was able to realize it was time to unleash the KANKLES!!! and as all my college buddies know when it is KANKLE TIME!!! shit only goes downhill.
Speaking of College......look who showed up
Sunday, I was first loser. Yep, my ego was pretty much crushed. I guess young Alex stayed up studying all night and was able to realize it was the last lap. I waited too long to unleash the KANKLES!!! and didn't get it done.
I have to say that it appears some the youngster in STL are going good. Plus one of them has YELLOW shoes...I don't see anyone in KC with YELLOW shoes. So I don't want to hear anymore of this KC is faster bullshit! I have proven that I can lose in both cities.
Next up Berrymen Epic.
Monday, October 12, 2009
Burning Disbelief
So very last minute I got talked into going to Burning at the Bluffs.....I teamed up with SHOT and BEANS
Long story short.....Beans wore a dress, I wore a long sleeve skin suit, and Shot had a shimano chain.
I hate you shimano chains.
In the end everyone survived and I got to see Fletcher in a wetsuit. Can't really ask for more can you.
Bean's recap is much better. GO DIE SHIMANO CHAINS!
Long story short.....Beans wore a dress, I wore a long sleeve skin suit, and Shot had a shimano chain.
I hate you shimano chains.
In the end everyone survived and I got to see Fletcher in a wetsuit. Can't really ask for more can you.
Bean's recap is much better. GO DIE SHIMANO CHAINS!
Tuesday, October 06, 2009
Boss Cross 1 and 2
Haven't seen any pictures and there were no podium pics.......(sorry FattyMatty)
I ended up 5th Saturday and 4th Sunday.
Saturday I rode around the first 20 minutes with bad legs and no skills. Then my legs woke up and got back to 5th........Kind of shitty but it is what it is......I guess that is what I get for actually going out on Friday and attempting to do "openers". I won't be doing that again.
Sunday My legs were wide open and ready to go. I missed Joseph's attack off the front and didn't respond quick enough. I made a big effort for several laps but couldn't close the gap. Joseph is flying right now......which is pretty cool. Race ended in a 3up sprint for 2nd. Tilford 2nd, Winkler 3rd........and I was 4th. It was tight at the line and in the end I was happy with my effort. All 3 of us in the chase group took our digs at getting across to Joseph and in the end we were all short a bit.
Up next Burning at the Bluffs.
I ended up 5th Saturday and 4th Sunday.
Saturday I rode around the first 20 minutes with bad legs and no skills. Then my legs woke up and got back to 5th........Kind of shitty but it is what it is......I guess that is what I get for actually going out on Friday and attempting to do "openers". I won't be doing that again.
Sunday My legs were wide open and ready to go. I missed Joseph's attack off the front and didn't respond quick enough. I made a big effort for several laps but couldn't close the gap. Joseph is flying right now......which is pretty cool. Race ended in a 3up sprint for 2nd. Tilford 2nd, Winkler 3rd........and I was 4th. It was tight at the line and in the end I was happy with my effort. All 3 of us in the chase group took our digs at getting across to Joseph and in the end we were all short a bit.
Up next Burning at the Bluffs.
Thursday, October 01, 2009
Black Diamond CX
Ended Up 4th...

I am the little kid in the superman shirt.
This Update brought to you by "New Belgium MotherShip Wit Organic Wheat Beer Brewed with Spices" it is certified USDA Organic.
I am the little kid in the superman shirt.
This Update brought to you by "New Belgium MotherShip Wit Organic Wheat Beer Brewed with Spices" it is certified USDA Organic.
Monday, September 21, 2009
Hermann Night CX
Great Event! To words Joe Schmalz. He has got a motor and a big heart.

My thoughts on how the race played out: If you have to suck wheel for 99% of the race are you really racing? Sure you have your rubber underwear on like the rest of us but are you really part of the event? Sure you throw your hands up and for that half second you are not so small anymore.....but really what did you accomplish? Sure your internet coach may explain to you that you are a "sprinter" and it is your competition's job to do drop you.........sure. In the end it really doesn't matter. I guess I just thought you were better than that.
Don't be that guy.
Until Next Time.
My thoughts on how the race played out: If you have to suck wheel for 99% of the race are you really racing? Sure you have your rubber underwear on like the rest of us but are you really part of the event? Sure you throw your hands up and for that half second you are not so small anymore.....but really what did you accomplish? Sure your internet coach may explain to you that you are a "sprinter" and it is your competition's job to do drop you.........sure. In the end it really doesn't matter. I guess I just thought you were better than that.
Don't be that guy.
Until Next Time.
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
We have waited all of this time!
Come on! This video sucks! This doesn't even start to show what went down. POOR!
Here is a thought.... Jonathan Page was/has been coached by Mario De Clercq for many years. Here is a nice article about De Clercq and some guy named Museeuw
Don't be a Page fan. The company you keep tends to say a lot about who you are....
Thursday, December 04, 2008
More Iowa
I totally ripped this pics off somebody's site but it sums my Sunday up
At the start of the mud slide.....Jeff and Shadd had large gaps on me....

notice the brakes are fully on but I catch them.......and I am gaining speed

Better stick my leg out because that is going to really fucking help! And then I almost die at the bottom......
Had there been a third picture you would see my right legs clips back in and then my left leg unclips and goes into "oh shit" tripod mode.
Sunday reminded me of something my dad said to me back in high school when we were riding at Finger Lakes. "I am not going down that, I have to go to work Monday" FUCK I am getting old!
The Fangos were great.
At the start of the mud slide.....Jeff and Shadd had large gaps on me....
notice the brakes are fully on but I catch them.......and I am gaining speed
Better stick my leg out because that is going to really fucking help! And then I almost die at the bottom......
Had there been a third picture you would see my right legs clips back in and then my left leg unclips and goes into "oh shit" tripod mode.
Sunday reminded me of something my dad said to me back in high school when we were riding at Finger Lakes. "I am not going down that, I have to go to work Monday" FUCK I am getting old!
The Fangos were great.
Wednesday, December 03, 2008
Iowa Shitty
ProPam....here is my write up. First, I have good legs right now. Second, I have shitty luck....wait I make my own luck, fuck. Third, I don't like racing in endless amounts of mud.
I love and hate Jingle CX. There are parts of the course that are awesome and then there are parts of the course that suck. At what point does doing 6 turns in a cattle barn make good racing. There needs to be a UCI rule against it! Seriously, it is just stupid. Anyways, I spent most of the weekend doing it wrong in the races. If I wasn't behind 10 dudes who couldn't turn left or right......I was just not getting it done. Extremely frustrating but that is bike racing.
I hate mud. If I wanted to race in mud I would move to Portland. Fuck the mud.
When the race becomes a mud slide it is no longer a race......it is a mud slide. It is OK to change the course based on the conditions! Or at least put padding on the barn at the bottom of the mud slide!
In other news. My teammate Nate, likes the mud. He rode awesome Sunday and got some UCI points.
Does anyone have some Cheese for my Whine? I know cry me a fucking river.
I love and hate Jingle CX. There are parts of the course that are awesome and then there are parts of the course that suck. At what point does doing 6 turns in a cattle barn make good racing. There needs to be a UCI rule against it! Seriously, it is just stupid. Anyways, I spent most of the weekend doing it wrong in the races. If I wasn't behind 10 dudes who couldn't turn left or right......I was just not getting it done. Extremely frustrating but that is bike racing.
I hate mud. If I wanted to race in mud I would move to Portland. Fuck the mud.
When the race becomes a mud slide it is no longer a race......it is a mud slide. It is OK to change the course based on the conditions! Or at least put padding on the barn at the bottom of the mud slide!
In other news. My teammate Nate, likes the mud. He rode awesome Sunday and got some UCI points.
Does anyone have some Cheese for my Whine? I know cry me a fucking river.
Monday, November 24, 2008
A proper write up
From the minds of greatness.........
----Night Cross at Creve Coeur Lake has been highly anticipated for a long time. It was written in the Book of Ezekial, 12:2-5, "And yay let all those who possess not-too-skinny tires to mount them unto their rims, and do so not until the sun has set in the sky. They will ride thine bicycles, and do so regardless of atmospheric temperatures, regardless of ridiculous vestments or garb. And there was much gnashing of teeth and gears." ----------The Good Stuff
----Night Cross at Creve Coeur Lake has been highly anticipated for a long time. It was written in the Book of Ezekial, 12:2-5, "And yay let all those who possess not-too-skinny tires to mount them unto their rims, and do so not until the sun has set in the sky. They will ride thine bicycles, and do so regardless of atmospheric temperatures, regardless of ridiculous vestments or garb. And there was much gnashing of teeth and gears." ----------The Good Stuff
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
Thursday, November 06, 2008
Thursday, October 30, 2008
Bubba in the Dark
Another night time CX race is on the plate. Details.....beer tent!
Word is that Ryan Pirtle is looking to throw down that evening. He is also going to bring along his Gay Midget Overly Tan Midget on Midget Porn star brother with him.
With a little luck I will be able to convince some real out of town heat to show up.

I got fans!
Word is that Ryan Pirtle is looking to throw down that evening. He is also going to bring along his Gay Midget Overly Tan Midget on Midget Porn star brother with him.
With a little luck I will be able to convince some real out of town heat to show up.
I got fans!
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
Double Trouble
Went to KC Saturday

I got yelled at for being on the course on Saturday. My bad! Oh well.
It was a good time and a first class race. Thanks
I rushed back to the MU/CU game......made it to the Company Tailgate..ate 2 sloppy joes (extra sloppy) and had 2 beers......then off to a family BBQ....more food....then off to put Riley to bed and then ....off to the most None Irish, Irish Bar for a few beers with my brother since he was in town...... (A bit of a long sentence but Saturday was busy!)
Sunday morning rolls around....While downtown getting coffee and bagels, I run into a stumbling Tim Ranek! He was in town for homecoming and looking for his car from the previous night. We shot the shit for a bit and I dropped him off at his car.
Then off to STL on Sunday

(stolen from Evil Mike)
Crazy weekend. It was a good time! The STL cx scene seems to be growing by leaps and bounds. Thanks for the Beer hand up during the race!
Off to Colorado this weekend for the Boulder Cup.
I got yelled at for being on the course on Saturday. My bad! Oh well.
It was a good time and a first class race. Thanks
I rushed back to the MU/CU game......made it to the Company Tailgate..ate 2 sloppy joes (extra sloppy) and had 2 beers......then off to a family BBQ....more food....then off to put Riley to bed and then ....off to the most None Irish, Irish Bar for a few beers with my brother since he was in town...... (A bit of a long sentence but Saturday was busy!)
Sunday morning rolls around....While downtown getting coffee and bagels, I run into a stumbling Tim Ranek! He was in town for homecoming and looking for his car from the previous night. We shot the shit for a bit and I dropped him off at his car.
Then off to STL on Sunday
(stolen from Evil Mike)
Crazy weekend. It was a good time! The STL cx scene seems to be growing by leaps and bounds. Thanks for the Beer hand up during the race!
Off to Colorado this weekend for the Boulder Cup.
Thursday, October 23, 2008
Friday, October 17, 2008
Monday, October 13, 2008
No Love in Ohio
Friday...I finished 17th on the roughest CX course I have ridden. Made the Wednesday Training course look smooth. I didn't start great and spent the day chasing.
Saturday..DNF...I was really motivated but with in the first 30 secs of the race I was under 25 guys in a pile up. Sucked.
Sunday....24th...Not the greatest result. I was as high as 16th at one point but with 2 laps to go I had a full system shut down. Somebody hit the reset key big time! I went backwards fast than I ever have before...
3 days of CX racing is hard. Really hard. I am smoked today. Best part of the weekend was my brother got a ton of the action on video. He is suppose to send some of the clips.
Sunday's race had over 60 guys on the start line. Way to many guys if you ask me.
Saturday..DNF...I was really motivated but with in the first 30 secs of the race I was under 25 guys in a pile up. Sucked.
Sunday....24th...Not the greatest result. I was as high as 16th at one point but with 2 laps to go I had a full system shut down. Somebody hit the reset key big time! I went backwards fast than I ever have before...
3 days of CX racing is hard. Really hard. I am smoked today. Best part of the weekend was my brother got a ton of the action on video. He is suppose to send some of the clips.
Sunday's race had over 60 guys on the start line. Way to many guys if you ask me.
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
Minus the Turds........
Mad City was a good time. Riley and Kara made the trip with me. Riley even slept through the night and the car ride for the most part. I don't know why my son is so relaxed about everything. I am sure not relaxed....
We even had Mexican on Saturday night!
A 180 on the side of the hill. Rain would have made that really bad.

Cross is a hard fucking sport. I have lucked out in that I have a great support system around me.
We even had Mexican on Saturday night!
A 180 on the side of the hill. Rain would have made that really bad.
Cross is a hard fucking sport. I have lucked out in that I have a great support system around me.
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