MY ONE DIMENSIONAL WORLD!

Tuesday, December 12, 2006

Monkey see......Monkey do


Jimmiez thought we should include some "Tilford" training practices into our ride. I told Jimmiez he was nutts but the old fuck didn't listen and jumped in.


Off to Nationals this weekend.

Thursday, December 07, 2006

Fan Photos Part 2

So finally I will update my blog this week. I missed the race saturday because of snow. In the great words of Fish and Jimmiez..."The race for the state title started Friday" ......well shit! I was at work friday. So I took no chances on Sunday and called in my old man, a four wheel drive, and about 10hrs of extra time to make the race. Needless to say I got there on time.....

There was mud,


ice,


pain,


and suffering


Plus my dad pulled pit duty


Oh here is a photo of Kyle, Nate, and I. Kyle is like a real life version of the South Park charater.


Anyways KLM UCI race was good. I got 6 UCI points which gets me into the top 50 for start position at Nationals. Oh and Tilford fell in a frozen lake and still kicked the shit out of everyone.

Off to Rhode Island next week.

Wednesday, November 29, 2006

Fan Photos

One of my many fans sent me some pics from Iowa City


Kankle Time!


In other news.....I hope Bill Marshall has a snow plow for this weekend.

Monday, November 27, 2006

Iowa Shity, IA

I went to Iowa this weekend for the Jingle Cross Rock. Good times were had by all and I even had Mexican on Saturday night! Here are the results ...Rock1 ...Rock2

Here are some shitty photos from the run up on Sunday.


Here is little buddy in full on suffer mode in the Master's race.

Nice Job ACE!

Kans-ass was there.


I don't have anything else....I actually need to get some work done for a change.

Adam Mills sucks. (There you go Adam a call out from my blog!)

Monday, November 20, 2006

Hendersonville, NC

Nobody was there!

Here is what cyclingnews.com had to say Day One and Day Two

I took some pics with my phone and they are a bit shitty.....ok they are shit.

A hoop for Jimmiez was on the course..


Pits were a bit empty......


Sweet BMX track at the park.....no it was not part of the course


It was a long fucking drive.


Jingle CX is next

ProPam in the News

Tuesday, November 07, 2006

Boulder, not just a rock in the mountians

Went to the GP in Boulder. It was fun getting the shit kicked out of me 2 days straight. Saturday I was 75th out of 115..one lap down. Sunday I was 38th out of 115. For some reason I was really really really motivated not to get lapped on Sunday and my legs showed up. I need to find a way to start better in the big fields. If I can do that I can move up another 15 places. I spent both days racing from the back of the pack.

Here are some photos of Sunday's events


The crowds were HUGE!








I think Sram sponsored the events



Here is a short clip of me

If you go to www.youtube.com and search for boulder cx you will find a ton of video from the races this last weekend.

Monday, October 30, 2006

Hamstring

One to many Jewfusses hamstring jokes and........

(photo via bobber world.)
.....my fucking hamstring goes to shit!

KARMA is a bitch!

Monday, October 16, 2006

OHIO...

Saturday..... I had one frozen chain, a bike change, and a 13th out of 45. I took my winnings and had prime rib..

Not fucking veggie diet here!

Sunday...

They had sand


They had pagentry


I had a couple of big crashes, 3 bike changes, and 1 DNF. Nate Rice got an 8th so he is now at one with the UCI and their point system! Good for Nate.

I think I am going to take up Sunday football viewing. I could be top 10 at that. Maybe.

In other news.. I will be hosting a "how to glue tubulars for CX" party at my house this week.

Monday, October 09, 2006

Monday, October 02, 2006

Newton, IA

I went and did 2 CX races up in Newton,IA.


In the great words of somebody we call "THE DUDE".........."AHH...Nobody was there"

It was a good time and the courses were really kick ass. I would say both days were some of the best courses I have been on in the midwest.

Jimmiez,
Kim and JJ said you are a big fucking puss for going to ARKansas.

Friday, September 15, 2006

CX season is here!

So for the record Bubba is still alive


I got a couple of new cx bikes....


and I have been riding down by the river...


and drinking constantly.



Alright that is the best I can do today. I will try harder next time.

Sunday, August 20, 2006

FATTY MATTY!!!



Looks like somethings never change with Matt. Nice to see he is taking care of my old bike!

Thursday, August 17, 2006

So my blog sucks?

Well tell me something I didn't know!

Anyways the hate is returning and it almost CX season. This year I will have carbon wheels and 4 different CX bikes. Yes that is right 4 and no you can't use one of them. I am using everything! Cry me a fucking river already.

So to continue with the bitching. Why is that people think they know me? Does anyone even know how I got the name Butthead?

With any luck today I will complete my db layout so the world of circuits can be nicely stored to the DSO level. Just think when I am done any jackass with a web browser will be able to click on their circuit and see that they have 6 channels setup for voice and 18 channels setup for data. Hell maybe I will even throw in some traffic graphs with lots of colors. Wow if that thought doesn't get the blood flowing there is no hope for you!

Wednesday, August 02, 2006

Well just shut the fuck up Jimmiez

.....Look Here....

Alright since I haven't updated this piece of shit in about forever......here goes...

Brad Huff = dumbass.


Who knows the what the fuck is up with Landis.

I will go as far to say I am dropping OLN and Velonews Mag since Pro cycling has just become this big piece of shit that is just whacked!

Huff here is some advice. Use your status in cycling for good. Start a "Player's Union". Pro cyclists need to stop allowing themselves to be attacked as individuals and start moving as a group. The UCI and WADA will not start acting as adults until they are forced. Seriously HUFFY step up!

Needless to say the Landis affair pisses me off on about 3 million different levels.


What else.....it is fucking hot and I am ready for CX season.

Junior Varsity make some CX shit happen already!

Tuesday, July 18, 2006

My Kitchen

Before


After


I am still not done but it is slowly getting there.

Wednesday, July 12, 2006

Huffy and Hill tour sightings!

From cyclingnews.com stage 10 coverage

15:01 CEST
Argghh...some lunatic spectator just ran alongside the leaders with his shorts halfway down his leg, cheeks on view. It doesn't help that I've just had my lunch...yak..

15:03 CEST
The two have just passed another spectator dressed up in what looked like a sumo wrestling suit...bizarre. Must be something strange in the mountain water!

Monday, July 03, 2006

Don't Forget!

4th of July Century......

7:00am from Boone Hospital.

Wednesday, June 28, 2006

GAY GAY GAY!

CRITICAL MASS BIKE RIDES RETURN TO COLUMBIA, FRIDAY, JUNE 30:
All cyclists are invited to gather at 5:30 p.m. this Friday, June 30 at the Boone County Courthouse for a Critical Mass Bike Ride. Critical Mass rides raise awareness of cycling and remind motorists of the need to share the road with this sustainable mode of transport. Rides occur in hundreds of communities across the nation and around the world, usually on the last Friday of the month. For more info visit: www.critical-mass.org

This is just not something Columbia needs. Back in 96 there was a Critical Mass ride I made the mistake of going to. The only thing that came out of it was a lot of pissed off people. To be honest I would say it probably about the dumbest thing I have ever done. The ride consisted of a bunch of fucks who do nothing but complain...... I don't even think most of them were cyclists and I would guess less than 10% voted.

Columbia is a great cycling town and bends over backwards to try and promote cycling these kind of events only turn people off from cycling.

Get a clue people!

Fuck....I will have my own Anti Critical Mass Ride. My house 4:30. We will ride 2 wide and stay way from busy streets and in general not piss people off........kind of like I do everyday.

I hate fucking stupid people who go out of their way to go and fuck up other people's shit.

Wednesday, June 21, 2006

The Dog Whisperer

For father's day Bubba decided to get me the Dog Whisperer Book. I normally am not someone who will sit down and read a book. My reading is limited to random blogs and Velonews when it shows up in the mail. Anyways this book kicks ass! It really does. For once I actually understand the Bubba!


Here is a photo of Bubba in all of his greatness......


In other news: There was a race at Wingheaven this weekend. Huffy was there kicking some sort of Euro Mullet. It was pretty sweet for a kid from Springdale. I would give a race recap but it is Wednesday and if you don't know what occurred by now you probably don't care.

One last thing..........this goes out to you new guys riding in Columbia....some rules. Yes FUCKING RULES granted I would think common sense would not require rules but like most things we must have FUCKING RULES!
1)Shut the fuck up.
2)No fix gears at Tuesday night worlds. There is a long story behind this but just take my word for it
3)When we ride out and back from Tuesday night worlds pull your head out of your ass and ride 2 wide........this is not critical mass so think a little bit.
4)See #1

That is all I can think of........

Nothing is worse then coming to work and having a fellow worker (who is cycling friendly) tell you of how he was stuck behind 20 cyclists taking up the entire road. Kind of makes all of us look like idiots when a few don't ride with any common sense.

Wednesday, June 07, 2006

Watch out HUFFY!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ok I am not one to just go out and make fun of people but.........
Click Here

Attention people! If you put something out on the World Wide Web people will see it.


Anyways I am totally going to setup my own myspace account!

Friday, June 02, 2006

A Turd

I was walking in the back yard last night and I stepped in a big pile of shit....and with that I present Missouri's own #2

Tuesday, May 30, 2006

Nice Job Boys


I think there was also some bike racing that occurred this last weekend.

Friday, May 19, 2006

Keeping it real........

So I rode the CX bike last night. It was great!

Anyways since Bolton can't seem to keep it upright and is on the disabled list for a while...........here is a photo from back in the day

That is right Bolton! I am rolling on the original Lindsey Wilson DS Course.

That Schwinn Homegrown was sweet!

Tuesday, May 16, 2006

My recap of greatness

First off I have 2 great photos to post but my fucking phone is fucked right now so I can't get to them. Fuck! Look more anger! I am so Angry! Fuck!

Anyways I went with Jimmiez, ProPam, and Raymond down to Arr-Kansas (say it like a pirate would). It was a good trip and at no point did I think to myself......"I should have just gone by myself" Believe it or not that has to be a first.

Friday.....finished in the second group. Long story short I am a dumbass. Plus I am have one less working Zip 303 wheel! Sweet!

Saturday......finished in the front group. Used some sweet Mavic Cosmic Carbon wheels. Thank god I didn't break those.

Saturday TT........I made the time cut. 9:50. I think I could go faster but who fucking cares I was racing for like 300th place and a box of paper clips

Sunday Crit........I got dropped in less than 20 minutes. Fuck. It was fast but not stupid fast. I didn't have the right mindset going in and I was fucking tired. I removed myself as soon as I got split from the main group. I don't understand why these assholes stay out there in the Pro race until the officals pull them off. The race paid 25 deep.......you got dropped.......get the fuck out of the way! I mean fuck! you are riding around in rubber underwear on tires that are 23mm wide.....why in the hell would keep bombing though corners using up all your luck. Anyways I think 30 guys finished and about 30 more finished 3 to 600 laps down on the 30 that finished on the lead lap.

Overall it was a good time and I got to see some friends I haven't seen in a while. I will go back next year and not miss the front split on the first day.

In other news.....Brian Java pulled his head out of his ass and rode really well. It is nice to see him have a good weekend. We were all proud.

Thursday, May 11, 2006

Arkansas home of Chickens

So, I am off to Joe Martin for the weekend. There are at least 3000 people signed up for the pro 1,2. Should be fun.


I just hope all the motor pacing works.........


Other news: Bubba is still alive.

Monday, May 08, 2006

A night with the Hills............

So saturday we had a few post race beers at the brewery in Maplewood....

Now the photo does not do this moment justice but it will have to do.


Here is how it went down. The women bent over with her ass in the air (she really stuck that thing up and out) early in the evening appeared to be a god fearing member of the ICCCCCCC but after she spilled her beer she lost all control. I was not quick enough with my camera phone but to make a long story short her husband took off his belt and began to smack her ass as she bent over and ask for it. To make matters worse she then told our table how she works at a video store and loves "dirty movies". According to her she takes 3 to 4 movies home a night to watch. Her husband backed up her words of wisdom concerning "dirty movies".......things just got worse from there.

The entire experience was just so sick and wrong on so many levels that I am scarred for life but entertained at the same time.

Did I mention we had a drunk Irish man with us who was telling us stories of shatting his pants in random locations?

Just another night with the Hills.......

Wednesday, May 03, 2006

The Man Room continues to develop....

So here are some photos..

At this point the walls are painted and the ceiling is done.

Hey look Saved by the Bell! Zack Morris is a Cat 4 on the track in case you didn't know!

......more random photos......


The photos make the color look a bit different than what it is but who fucking cares....it is a basement.

This last week I stained the floor and sealed it and bought some over priced furniture! (Thanks Jimmiez for the help picking the stuff up) I don't have any photos of that but you guys can just imagine.

So with any luck I will move all my furniture down stairs soon and I will be able to enjoy the "man room" in all of about 50% of it's glory. All I have left at this point are doors, floor boards, trim, and polishing the poles. I still haven't figured out how I am going to build a small round stage for the pole but don't worry I will figure that out.


In other news: Joe Hill won Tour of STL and BOCOMO Tuesday Night World Championships are not allowed to go full throttle until Tracie say so (Yes that is Tracie not Tracy)

For the Record: Zack, I have 3 cars in my driveway. To make a long story short. "I am big time". My brother has at least 10 cars in his warehouse.....so he is "Super Big Time" or "A single male with to much extra cash and a car habit"

Thursday, April 27, 2006

Friday, April 21, 2006

I had a thought today.......

"Hating Me, Won't Make You Pretty"

that was it.

Thursday, April 20, 2006

Look at the size of that VISOR!

Aaron that visor is HUGE!


Huffy this is the visor I am talking about. You roll with a visor with that much attitude you are going win some big races. We are talking like Dogwood MO big!

Wednesday, April 12, 2006

My free time

So when I am not riding around in tight pants yelling at people and causing problems among cyclists..........I work on my house. Anyways my basement has been my project as of late (by late......like a year)

So I am almost ready to paint my "man" room

That is right "man" room

Soon I will have my own space for drunken parties where I can watch the Speed Channel all day without having to switch to Trading Spaces every 5 minutes. The TLC channel SUCKS!

With a little luck the paint will be dry by sunday.

Friday, April 07, 2006

Take a Look HUFFY!


Jelly Roll Hill is rolling a visor!


I want to see you, Pate, Creed, and all your boys at the next Track event with Visors!

Tuesday, April 04, 2006

Take a look HUFFY




So get one already!

HUFFY GET A VISOR ALREADY!!!!!!!

.......something like this.....


You heard it here first........everyone will be rolling Visors in 07

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